The Party’s Over.

  8/23/21

I prefer incall dates because they provide me with a controlled environment; I know where everything is, where to hide important stuff, and of course with incalls the chance of law enforcement invading your space is slim to none (unless you belong to a collective incall…).  However, there are many reasons that I like outcall dates.  Obviously a big one being that I don’t have to front the cost of 4-5-star accommodations, but usually my best suitors cover the cost of my incall space anyway (a sure-fire way to impress me).  Another reason I like outcalls: the date is guaranteed to end on time. Because I’m the one leaving.

The most disrespectful non-violent and non-verbal client behavior (to me, at least) is overstaying their welcome.  I’m not talking about the 5 or 10 minutes spent putting your clothes back on at the end of the date which subjects me to a few minutes of unpaid time. I don’t care about that if it’s completely unintentional. I’m talking about 15+ minutes. That’s when I start to get irritated.  

This happened to me recently with a new client.  As my internal clock began going off, I started to think, Why isn’t he leaving?  Maybe he wants to extend? But he hasn’t said anything.  He’s still telling this story… is he even a little bit aware that he’s exceeded his time?! Is this intentional?   All whilst smiling and nodding and reassuring him and his ego that this story was so very interesting—and it kinda was interesting, in an entitled man kind of way.  Anyway, as he got further and further into the story, it got harder and harder to locate a window of space for myself to do my whole “well look at the time!” bit. This hour-long story he was telling me as about how he fell in love. With his wife’s cousin’s roommate while he was visiting them WITH HIS WIFE. First of all, I don’t know how well it served him spending his paid time with me talking about a woman he fell in love with right under his wife’s nose in a matter of days, but to each their own? There were moments of his story where I’m not quite sure if he knew I was there; it was like watching an elder wistfully talk about ‘the war’ and all their glory days.  Didn’t seem to matter much who was listening.

Anyway, there came a point where he literally checked his watch and just goes “phew! Look at the time!” An entire hour after our intended finish time had passed… The biggest slap in the face about this is that he made a big deal about not being able to do three hours and instead two—but not because of the cost, or so he said. Instead because he had to be at work an hour after our two-hour date ended…. That was clearly lie because there he was, cock and balls out, in the living of my hotel suite, breathing my air for free. I was enraged.  But I kept a good face on and kissed him goodbye. Wrote him a text a few hours later, and alas the extra hour of funds was sent. In my opinion he should have added

I know what you’re thinking. This story ended up just fine. You got paid. Why are you pressed? 

Well, dear reader, I was pressed because I still had to go through all of the same stress responses, anger, frustration and humiliation associated with correcting a client’s negative behavior and invoicing the debt it caused. I still have to be the one who fights for my dignity every time a client dismisses it. And I still had to expect the possibility of working for free in case this guy decided to be a dick and not pay the extension. All of the weight of the possibility of this going wrong falls on my shoulders. Every time.  Fellas, do yourselves a favor and pay closer attention to detail.

It’s a whole lot easier to accept that the party’s over than dealing with this kind of hangover…